The General Rant/Bitch/Moan Thread.

If only I knew what I wanted..

I am leaving my sister & my niece in the morning. A whirlwind of emotions anymore. It's always so fn hard to leave

This morning my mom ended up barging in my room yelling at me because I opened a letter from my uncle to give to her yesterday. From there she went on a rant about me waking her up at night with false excuses and slamming my computer around. At that point I didn't get much sleep so I was a little angry.

I get up and get some food just for my mom to try to act like nothing happened. I didn't want to play happy family so I was a bit cold towards her. She got in my face and started yelling at me. The kind of yelling where she was spitting in my face because she was so close. I got up and walked to my room because I just wanted to leave before things got worse.

My mom followed me in my room and shut my door behind her so I couldn't leave. She brought up all kinds of things and didn't want to leave until I told her what she wanted to hear. Too bad for her I wasn't willing to tell her things that aren't true for her satisfaction. In the middle of the fight she tried pulling the guilt card with the fake tears and all. Since I wouldn't fall for it she just got more angry. When I was getting ready to leave she was doing one of those talking loudly about me like I can't hear her.

I went to lock the door on my way out but she unlocked it and ripped it open. I just left because I didn't want to be there. I didn't know where to go so eventually I got a hold of zombie and she let me come over for the day. My mom ended up calling me closer to the evening asking me if I was coming home. Then she had the nerve to tell me she loved me and demand that I respond the same.

When I came home I found my mail and loan documents all over the floor. I wanted nothing to do with her but she wanted to make happy conversation. The only time she didn't and wanted to be bitter was when I was looking for all of my stuff on the floor. Everyone I have talked to about it are all saying this is part of the 5 steps of greiving for someone you have lost/ are losing and I shouldn't take it personal. I know I'm leaving for my own appartment and all but this is insane. This is my home. The home I grew up in, and I don't even want to be here anymore because of her. Sad part is, when I was here alone I was happier then her here with money to take care of bills and such.

I'm sorry to hear about your home situation. Sometimes it's so much better to be alone than to live with someone you love but who takes you on an emotional roller coaster.

DCGG:

Reading this took me back... it sounds a lot like some of the fights Mom used to start with me. They happened mostly when I started dating, and again when I started making plans to leave for college. Sometimes she took it out on Grandma too.

The grief point is a good one; she probably feels like she is losing control over the status quo (since you are leaving, and since it sounds like she never quite dealt with the passing of your father). When people say don't take it personally, I think they mean don't internalize it and assume it's your fault. I don't think they mean don't get upset -- because you have every right to be hurt and angry about this. Regardless of the reasons behind her actions, she still hurt you.

Things only changed with my mom once she had to deal with the changes -- i.e. once I moved out and started building a life separate from her. Things will change, just slowly. Don't let guilt eat at you; you have the right to start your own life and be happy. Things will change with time; things are better with Mom and me, so I have hope for the 2 of you, too -- somewhere down the line.

^^Thanks

I just think it's stupid. I'm literally going to be gone in 68 days. I know that is a high number, but in the grand scheme of things that isn't very long. In that time I will be at work, out with friends, with matt, or trying to spend time with my dog. So she doesn't have very much her time with me in there. I don't understand why someone would want to ruin what little time they are going to get out of that with picking fights with me.

^^ I used to wonder that, too, about the timing. My mom picked a fight with me on the day I graduated high school. I remember thinking, why now??

Oopsie! A friend posted something on Facebook about the Empire State building not honoring Mother Teresa and how the building management should be ashamed of themselves. I responded by saying that Mother Teresa was a fraud citing examples of how people actually suffered in her clinics and orphanages and how she befriended several dictators and con men, etc. (It's all true! Research it!) I was of course expecting some debate, since she is so highly regarded, but I was not expecting someone to go full psycho on me and accuse me of hating Mother Teresa because I am a Jew and she was Catholic. Damn, that was just hateful!

^^ Whoa! That *was* hateful! I mean, if she disagrees, fine. But she sounds like she was just looking for a way to vent her anti-Jewish stance.

She ought not have made you a target. She could have -- novel concept here -- simply explained why she believes otherwise! I'm sorry it happened; I know how it feels to get bashed online.

^^Thanks. The jerk even had the nerve to say that my sunglasses looked expensive and asked if I had done anything for humanity lately. Motherf***er, I've worked with social service agencies for most of my adult life and the hubby and I donate to cultural institutions in the Bronx. I also donate to my old college's scholarship fund. I'd like to know what HE'S done for humanity lately.

Ok, I feel better now.

Today was ugh. I went to work and picked cindy up. The church where they have weight watchers was crowded so we had to wait until the next meeting. The church was hot because they kept their air on a low setting.

Then at sears I had to get the stuff my boss wanted for her husband for fathers day. There was no one in sears willing to help me and they didn't have what she wanted so she got upset at me like I wasn't listening.

Then I come home to find my mom lounging around in bed. She was supposed to mow the lawn because it's really high and looks like crap. There is also no food readily available. My boss made chicken kabobs today that smelled amazing. It's reasons like the one I'm in now that I want to steal peoples extras after they eat dinner.

On top of that my mom has a bad credit score so she was denied to being able to be my cosigner for my lease which they are saying I have to have one. I have a few options. If my brother will do it then I'm fine. I could pay an extra $499 and not have one (where do they think I'm coming up with all this money?) or I have to have my mom finish and see if she can get a parent loan. If not it goes in my name. I need to have a credit score of 550 and get extra income of $400 a month to sign by myself without needing someone.

Migraine

^^ I hope it's gone this morning, Moon.

I think I just watched my boss mishandle a situation, and I might wind up having to clean up the mess. Or not having the chance, if the woman doesn't come in.

Someone parks near our dumpster in the morning, and uses it sometimes too. Yesterday, the dumpster couldn't get serviced b/c her car was there. Boss left a note telling her not to park there anymore, and underlining "my" when referring to the dumpster.

She could have become a client if we handled this a bit better; now she'll just be upset.

My husband's grandfather has been in the hospital since Friday after a nasty fall, and just now my mom called me to tell my my dad is in the hospital because of his high blood sugar and his heart. Geeze, when it rains it pours.

^^ Oh no Diva... Please let us know how things go.

Hey Moon, your migraine found me. I think it's a side effect of a med I'm taking for an infected nail.

Diva, I hope it all gets better!

My rant:

Lets see, I got to go home to TN for two weeks for my dad's wedding. The new family is just peachy. ya. I can't stand them. It sucks.

Then my car broke down there and is still there even after two weeks in the shop. so I'm back in plattsburgh with no car. and I have to stay with my BF cause he's the only one I know in plattsburgh with enough room for me to stay for a while-and he's willing to let me. But, now that it's been a week he's getting on my last nerve. He's always, I miss you. you shouldn't go to work, you should stay with me. He's really touchy-feely and when I said we should visit an old historical fort or museums he said "ugh. They are boring. You find those fun?" and he doesn't want me to get my car back cause he likes us living together. ya, he's really great and caring and we do share similar things like music tastes and tv shows, we have the same kind of twisted humor, but he's...well...gah! He's also kinda immature. He came off as really mature when we were hanging out before but the more I get to know him the more he reminds me of my first ex who was a year younger than me. I'm just thinking it's cause I've been living with him, so I don't want to break up with him just yet and wait to see how it goes after I get to move back out. He just doesn't seem to get the fact that I am a really independent person and I do need my space. I think it's cause his mom's relationship with his dad is very much a needy one and he thinks I should be like that....I am his first girlfriend and I know he doesn't really know all that much about relationships yet. but it's still just getting on my nerves. I also think that part of the reason I don't want to break up with him is cause this would have been my third relationship- none of which have lasted more than a month. I feel like there is something wrong with me cause I can't have a long relationship like so many others do. I've been thinking about this alot lately. I'm so confused as to what to do.

^^ holy crap. Don't feel disfunctional. Relationships take work. I know I come off as peaches and roses when it comes to matt but we have our little quarrels as well. For me I can't stand how much he works, he buys drinks when we are about to go out to eat and then doesn't finish them later because they are warm or got cold, and he leaves his cans of energy drinks and loser scratch offs everywhere... aka he is a slob. But you have to take it or leave it. If I were you I would try to talk to him about your discomforts. That is always the best solution. If it works out then great, but if not don't blame yourself. You have read my tons of guy issues. They are never easy. But sooner or later something ends up working no matter how much you don't want to hear it.

Diva I hope things work out for you. When it rains it does pour, but if it didn't then there wouldn't be such a beautiful scenery when the storm goes away

For me: I am getting really mad at mosquitoes. Yesterday I have 5 mosquito bites and now I have 7. They are all in very sensitive areas that normally rub up against something which make them super itchy. I have one on my left foot toe, on my right foot one in between my toes and two more right below my ankle, one on my left hand nuckle, one on the back of my right hip and another on my right side. They are all super itchy and I want to scratch the heck out of them but I know I shouldn't.

DCGG: I can relate on the mosquito thing. They're so bad down here! And I'm a friggin buffet, as far as they're concerned!

DH: The one thing I really want to say: Continue to be you. Don't compromise yourself; there is nothing wrong with you.

The things that stuck in my mind from what you said: he finds your interests boring (instead of trying them himself, and kind of says they're somehow invalid), he doesn't want you to go to work b/c he wants you nearby (why, what does he think will happen?), he doesn't want you to get your car back b/c he wants you around (um, how would he deal if you 2 were long-term?), and this is his 1st relationship (he doesn't get relationships yet -- I dated someone like that, and well, things were *really* not good). I'm not saying stay or break it off; that's up to you. But it sounds like he's seriously selfish, and you're right, immature to not understand that people can be individuals and still love each other. It's clear he's new to this whole "love" thing.

I'm sorry to get over-opinionated. This could turn out OK; just please don't let him make you feel like there's something wrong with you.

DCGG: Ya, mosquito's suck! When I went home they were everywhere...i still have bug bites from them!

Red and DCGG: Thanks guys! I'm definitly not compromising myself for this guy, and I won't blame myself DCGG...at least i'll try not to. And I have talked to him about some of it...but then he gets really reserved doesn't talk for like an hour or two...then slowly starts back into his old habits >.< now that I will have my car back in a few days i'm going to try to stick this out.........hopefully things will get better. but the more I think about this the more I don't think it's gonna work. and I'm scared that it's going to really hurt him. gah. boys suck.

^^amen

TheDarkHippie wrote:

hopefully things will get better. but the more I think about this the more I don't think it's gonna work. and I'm scared that it's going to really hurt him. gah. boys suck.

I wound up breaking up with my "someone like that" after a couple months. This was back in college. He took it pretty hard, and I was really sad -- I told my roommate I felt like I just killed someone. She sympathized, and then she was like, I know what you need -- she put on "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. She sang and danced, and had me dancing too. No matter how it goes, if you are happy, then it's the right outcome.

Someone opened up one of the computers that we use for testing and took out two cables from inside. Who could have done that?! Why would they do that?! I really hope the IT guys can fix it. It must have been an employee. I'm really bothered by the whole thing.

Right wrist hurts. A little tingly, too. Not good. Too much computer stuff, I think -- work and home.

Ok this is a little good and bad. I wanted to tell you guys when it happened yesterday but I couldn't get to my computer.

I was at work with cindy. Everything was going fine up until I had to take her into the gym. I had to use the bathroom so I told her not to change any of the setting since she likes to do that so I don't know she puts it down really low then puts it back up when I show up. I come back into the gym and I saw her looking over at me and playing with the settings and she made it go too fast for her. I scolded her for doing it and she left it at that. Then when it was time to go I took her into the locker room to get changed. I normally just walk out because it is too hot for me but for some reason after grabbing my purse I just walked around the locker room where she couldn't see me.

She has a problem of talking to herself out loud thinking no one can hear her. I hear her starting to do just that so I figured I would see what she was going to say. I just sat on top of this little ledge where there is a mirror for people. She kept repeating: "I have fun with you but you can't threaten cindy. Cindy has a lawyer. His name is paul. Cindy will sue you for threatening me. I have fun with you but you are mean. You are lying. Cindy didn't change the settings. You left. Jerry is right. Julie is to blame. Cindy never does anything wrong. It's Julies fault cindy is gaining weight. Cindy doesn't eat to much. It's her fault. Sh!t. That stupid fat b!tch. I'm glad Julie is leaving. Liar. Sh!t. Stupid fat b!tch. Cindy will sue you. Cindy never does wrong. It's all Julies fault. Sh!t. I'm glad she is leaving. Stupid b!tch. It's all her fault." Then she turned around the corner and saw me sitting there so she said "oh hi."

I was like cindy I heard you. I heard all of it. Get to the car. (Mind you jerry is her bf but I don't know what his disability is. I have also never heard her swear and as you can tell she was swearing up a storm. There were more words she used but I think you all get the point.) She kept trying to make me smile and telling me to be happy because she didn't want to get in trouble. I went to her house and pulled her mom aside to let her know what happened because I was taken back by all of it. Her mom tried to get cindy to repeat what she said but wouldn't. Her mom asked me to tell her in front of cindy. Then her mom told her that she was grounded all next week and I will not work with her. Cindy got upset but her mom knows if cindy is saying that stuff and the wrong person hears I will lose my job and get sued by the state of michigan. Her mom told her she will not have my jop jepordized next week but I will fill in the paper work that I worked because she said it wouldn't be fair for me not to get paid because it's cindys fault.

I'm kinda hoping she is true to her word and I don't have to work next week but I can still get paid for it. But still that was a lot of hate in those words. You have no idea how I felt while she was saying it. I was furious. Thank the lord I didn't blow up on her.

I'm very annoyed with my friend right now. We're supposed to go out tonight, but apparently she made plans with someone else earlier in the evening and won't be picking me up until much later. I dunno. I just wish she would've told me earlier in the day that I wouldn't have rushed to get ready. Gah she just texted me she's pushing it back another hour.

EDIT: She's still in Jersey! And then she has to go home and get ready! I just told her to forget it.